A Reflection on Filipino Crab Mentality

Explore the roots and real-life examples of Filipino crab mentality. Learn why we pull each other down and how we can break free from this toxic cycle of envy.

A Morning at the Fish Market

I was at the fish market earlier today, just looking to buy some fish to fry for lunch. You know the scene: rows of fresh seafood glistening in the morning light, the smell of the ocean mixing with the sounds of vendors calling out their best prices. It was a regular morning until I caught sight of a bucket of crabs.

They were piled on top of each other, a tangle of legs and claws fighting for space. One crab was clawing its way to the top, gripping the edge, almost free. I found myself silently cheering it on. But just as it seemed like it might escape, another crab grabbed hold of its leg and yanked it back down into the mess. I couldn’t look away.

Standing there, it hit me: This wasn’t just about crabs.

It was about us.

Survival of the Fittest: Historical Roots of Crab Mentality

This behavior isn’t new. It feels like it’s been etched into our history, passed down from generations when survival meant stepping over others just to stay afloat. I remember a story my grandmother used to tell about the Japanese occupation during World War II. She talked about the Makapili—Filipinos who turned against their own. They’d wear baskets over their heads, pointing out resistance fighters to the Japanese soldiers. Everyone knew who they were, despite the baskets. The betrayal stung deeper because it wasn’t an enemy who turned them in—it was their own.

Crab mentality has become a part of our cultural identity. We all see it; we joke about it, complain about it, but here’s the truth: No one, not in the history of the Philippines, has ever stood up and said, “Let’s change. Let’s fix this.” It’s as if it’s a stain we’d rather hide than clean. We sweep it under the rug, pretending it’s not there, until one day the rug starts to smell. And when we lift it, we find the rotting leftovers of the dirt we pushed aside so long ago.

It’s a cycle we’ve never dared to break—a shadow we can’t seem to outrun. We’ve learned to see others’ success as a threat, as if someone else’s rise somehow diminishes our own chances. And so, we pull each other back, like crabs in a bucket, stuck in an endless struggle.

Family Conditioning: Where Crab Mentality Begins

But let’s be honest—it doesn’t just start with history. It starts at home. I’ve seen it play out at family gatherings: the subtle digs, the backhanded compliments that sting more than they praise. We’re taught early on to be humble, to never boast, to blend in rather than stand out. “Wag kang mayabang,” they say. It sounds like good advice, but there’s an unspoken message underneath. It’s as if we’re more comfortable when everyone stays on the same level.

In many ways, crab mentality feels like it’s in our genes. It’s almost as if we inherit it, like a family heirloom no one wants but can’t seem to escape. You see it in the way parents talk to their children—cautioning them not to aim too high, warning them about the dangers of being different. It’s passed down, not as explicit advice, but as an attitude, a mindset absorbed over time. The whispers of, “Don’t get too big for your britches,” or, “Remember where you came from,” aren’t just reminders of humility—they’re warnings about the consequences of standing out.

I remember bringing home an award once, feeling proud and eager to share the news. But instead of congratulations, there were murmurs about not letting it get to my head. “Don’t be too proud,” they said. It left a mark, a quiet lesson that maybe it’s safer to keep your wins small and quiet. Maybe it’s better not to rise too high because the higher you climb, the harder they’ll pull you back down.

The saddest part? This isn’t seen as a problem. It’s just how things are. We accept it, we pass it on, and it becomes a part of the family culture. The next generation picks it up without question, like an old habit they never knew they learned. It’s a cycle we repeat because it’s what we know, even if it keeps us stuck at the bottom of the bucket.

Cultural Values: The Double-Edged Sword of Utang na Loob and Pakikisama

When I was living in the U.S., I heard something that stuck with me. Someone said, “If you go TNT—Tago ng Tago—you don’t have to worry about Americans reporting you. They get it. They know you’re just trying to survive. But your own kababayans? They’re the ones you need to watch out for.” It hurt to hear because it felt true.

We hold utang na loob—a debt of gratitude—close to our hearts. It’s meant to bind us in loyalty, but sometimes it’s twisted into a leash. It becomes a way to keep someone indebted, pulling them back into the bucket every time they try to climb out. It’s the same with pakikisama, our desire to fit in. It’s beautiful when it builds community, but dangerous when it demands conformity at the expense of progress.

The Subtle Blade of Filipino Humor

Filipinos are known for humor—we can laugh through almost anything. But there’s a sharp edge to it sometimes. It’s the sarcastic comments, the banat that feels like a joke but lands like an insult. I’ve seen it so many times: someone shares a small victory, maybe they got a new job or started a side hustle. Instead of celebrating, we respond with, “Pa-humble effect ka pa!” We laugh it off, but there’s envy lurking beneath that laughter.

It’s as if we can’t stand to see someone else shine. So, we turn their joy into a punchline, shrinking it down until it feels small enough for us to handle. It’s subtle, but it cuts deep.

Amplified Online: Crab Mentality on Social Media

Social media didn’t create crab mentality, but it gave it a place to thrive in silence. It’s rarely seen in direct comments—more often, it’s the quiet envy that festers as we scroll through posts of people we barely know. We see their wins—a new business launch, a graduation, a promotion—and instead of feeling inspired, there’s a small voice inside that whispers, “Bakit siya? Bakit hindi ako?” This internal struggle isn’t shared publicly; it simmers quietly, only surfacing in hushed conversations or private group chats.

What’s strange is that we might hold back from displaying crab mentality openly with family or friends, but with strangers online, it’s different. We bash celebrities, influencers, or even people we don’t know personally, masking our envy as “honest criticism.” It feels safer somehow, as if the anonymity of the internet makes it easier to indulge in these dark thoughts without facing the consequences. We call it “real talk,” but deep down, it’s the same old habit of pulling someone down just to feel better about our own place in the bucket.

The saddest part is that this behavior becomes normalized. We see it, we participate in it, and we justify it as harmless venting. But each time we engage in this quiet sabotage, we reinforce a cycle that keeps us all stuck. We hide behind our screens, never realizing that the ones we pull down are just reflections of our own unspoken insecurities.

Everyday Examples of Crab Mentality in Filipino Life

Discrediting Achievements
When someone succeeds, we often say it’s because of luck or connections rather than effort.
Scenario: A neighbor gets a promotion, and instead of celebrating, people say, “Kasi close siya sa boss, kaya napromote.”
Spreading Gossip
Sharing rumors to tarnish someone’s reputation, often without any proof.
Scenario: A friend starts a new business, but behind their back, you hear whispers like, “Baka illegal ang pinagkakakitaan niyan, kaya mabilis ang asenso.”
Backhanded Compliments
Praising someone in a way that subtly belittles them.
Scenario: “Ang galing mo, ha, para sa taga-probinsya!” It sounds like a compliment, but it implies surprise at their success because of their background.
Social Media Trolling
Leaving negative comments on someone’s achievements online, often to embarrass or discourage them.
Scenario: Someone posts about their new small business, and instead of support, the comments say, “Ano ba ’yan, lahat na lang may online shop ngayon.”
Withholding Support
Not supporting a friend’s project out of envy, even when it costs nothing to help.
Scenario: A friend asks you to share their page on social media, but you ignore it, thinking, “Ayoko nga, baka mag-succeed pa siya nang husto.”
Undermining Ideas in Meetings
Dismissing a colleague’s suggestions without real feedback, just to prevent them from gaining recognition.
Scenario: During a brainstorming session, someone proposes a great idea, but you quickly say, “Nagawa na ’yan dati, hindi uubra.”
Sabotaging Efforts
Intentionally hindering someone’s work or project to keep them from succeeding.
Scenario: A co-worker asks for help on a big project, but you give them incorrect information to make them look bad.
Public Shaming
Highlighting someone’s mistakes in public to embarrass them and detract from their successes.
Scenario: At a family gathering, someone brings up a cousin’s business failure, saying loudly, “Dati may negosyo ka, di ba? Ano nang nangyari?”
Jealousy in Friendships
Feeling envious when a friend achieves something and responding with indifference or negativity.
Scenario: A friend shares good news about a new job, and instead of congratulating them, you say, “Ay, okay lang ’yan, madami din namang stress ang bagong trabaho.”
Family Rivalries
Siblings or relatives competing against each other instead of supporting one another.
Scenario: Two cousins graduate from college, but instead of celebrating, the parents compare their grades, creating tension between them.
Downplaying Success
Responding to good news with comments that minimize the achievement.
Scenario: A friend tells you they got into their dream university, and you reply, “Marami din naman ang pumapasa diyan, hindi naman ganoon kahirap.”
Mocking Ambitions
Ridiculing someone’s goals as unrealistic or too ambitious.
Scenario: A neighbor says they want to become an entrepreneur, and people laugh, saying, “Huwag kang mag-ilusyon, mahirap magnegosyo ngayon.”
Exclusive Cliques
Forming tight-knit groups that exclude others who are excelling to isolate them.
Scenario: At work, a group of colleagues avoids inviting a high-performing co-worker to social events, saying, “Sobrang workaholic naman kasi niya.”
Negative Comparisons
Comparing oneself to others in a way that fosters resentment.
Scenario: You see a friend post about their new house, and instead of being happy, you think, “Kung hindi rin lang ako makakabili, sana wala na lang din siyang maipost.”
Resisting Change
Rejecting new ideas not because they’re bad, but because they come from someone else.
Scenario: In a meeting, a young employee suggests a fresh approach, but the older staff immediately dismiss it, saying, “Bagong salta ka pa lang, marami ka pang hindi alam.”
Feigning Support
Pretending to support someone’s endeavors while secretly hoping for their failure.
Scenario: You say “Good luck!” to a friend starting a new venture, but in private, you tell others, “Hindi naman tatagal ’yan.”
Highlighting Flaws
Focusing on someone’s mistakes to overshadow their accomplishments.
Scenario: After someone wins an award, you say, “Naalala mo ba noong palpak ang project niya last year?”
Enforcing Mediocrity
Discouraging excellence by promoting the idea that standing out is undesirable.
Scenario: A student excels in class, but classmates say, “Sipsip kasi sa teacher, kaya mataas ang grade.”
Cultural Stereotyping
Using cultural norms to limit individuals’ potential, suggesting they can’t sustain success.
Scenario: When someone achieves something remarkable, others say, “Typical ningas-cogon lang ’yan, sandali lang ang ganyan.”
Misusing Utang na Loob
Exploiting the Filipino value of gratitude to limit someone’s progress.
Scenario: A relative asks for help with a project, and when you hesitate, they remind you, “Utang na loob, naalala mo ba noong tinulungan kita dati?”

Climbing Out of the Bucket: Breaking the Cycle

It doesn’t have to be this way. I’ve seen glimpses of a different path—moments when we choose to lift each other up instead of tearing each other down. It’s in the friend who shares your new business post without being asked, in the family who claps the loudest when you win, without a trace of envy in their cheers.

Next time you see someone reaching for the edge of the bucket, ask yourself: Will you pull them back, or will you give them a hand up?

Final Reflection: A Call to Change

We don’t need to be like those crabs, locked in a cycle of pulling each other down. We can decide, right now, to be different. The next time you see someone reaching for the edge, ask yourself: Will you pull them back, or will you give them a hand up?

Because this isn’t just about crabs. It’s about us. And it’s about the legacy we choose to leave behind.